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Nogginknockers

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Upset at the injustices rendered upon legions of innocent midgets over the course of Executioners, the first Bloodlust Software game, the sinister French midget “Stumpy”, leader of the Great Midget Rebellion, arranges the kidnapping of Lord ][ellbent Deathspew and Smegma, alter-egos of the game’s developers. Still with me? Torn at devising a suitably torturous punishment for them, Stumpy installs them into electric chairs with joysticks, forcing them on pain of electric shock to duke it out by remotely controlling a highly-creative assortment of champions… who attempt to direct a ball (in actuality a severed human head) past each other into their opponent’s goal zone, getting an edge on the opponent by amassing power and timing the use of their most inventive, violent and repulsive special attacks. All the while, Stumpy hurls devastating insults at his captives, who exchange sophomoric verbal barbs with each other depending on their performance in the game. The intersection of Pong and Mortal Kombat turned out to be surprisingly tame compared to this gutsy and visceral contender (more Pong-meets-Time Killers, the fighting game that tracked dismemberments and decapitations as well as wins and losses), but not only is this paddle-and-ball game surprisingly solid (considering that its gameplay is obviously not its primary selling point), it may have a good shot at the title of Most Offensive Game ever due to excessive gore and vulgarity.

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